New Mommy Body

I have some new mommy confessions. 

Disclaimer: Do not continue to read if bodily function stuff grosses you out.

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Okay, first of all, who knew the human body could produce so many gross, but fascinating things?

Like, breast milk. 

I never in a million years thought I would be a breastfeeding mom. It used to weird me out as a child. Plus, I thought I'd never have the time or patience to do so. 

I.Was.Wrong.

It is by far the most rewarding experience. A bond that no one else can interfere with . It is truly amazing. 

That's not to say that it was always that way though. In fact, the first day my milk came in...oh geez. Bless my mother-in-law's heart for coming over to help make freezer meals, but in a period of a couple hours I'd leaked through at least three shirts. I double padded. I wore dark clothing. I even tried to nurse her frequently to alleviate the pressure. No such luck.  How embarrassing!! :(

Eventually my body got the message to slow down its production but that first week was awful. I didn't even want to go out in public in fear of leaking through a shirt. 

Even now, I pack an extra shirt for myself in HER diaper bag just in case. In fact, some days all I think about is when her next feeding will be or "should I pump, I feel uncomfortable?" It has become an obsession and not because I want to have boobs on the brain all day but because I HAVE to. So they don't leak, or get sore, or feel like they've just been punched. Yes, the joys of breastfeeding. Where extra pads, cream, and nursing clothes become your best friend.

It's all worth it though. I promise. ;)

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Second, weight loss. 

I must be a freak. I've lost almost 30 pounds and my child is just over a month old. Who does that? How?

I'll tell you. 

The first 10-15lbs disappeared when she came out. The next happened over the first few weeks when I was more concerned with; "when does she need to eat next, what should I put in the diaper bag, wait, whose house are we going to next?" Pretty soon its 3 or 4pm and I haven't eaten a thing yet. Whoops. 

Fortunately, I'm proud to say that I'm finally figuring out how to fit time in for other things. And thank goodness I know how to multi-task. Now, instead of soling thinking about what she needs next I'll say.."Okay, she just went down for a nap, I'll throw some laundry in and by the time the laundry is done I'll feed her then swap the laundry over, then, pull dinner out and change her, then, once she's changed and playing on her mat I'll fix dinner..."

Yep, the thought process is just as scatterbrained witnessing it as it is reading it. Somewhere in there is time to write my blog, take a 2-3 minute shower, maybe put some make up on, and meet a friend or two for lunch.

I think I'm officially a robot some days. Constantly thinking about what's next. I need to learn to live in the moment, but then things only become complicated and stressful if I don't think about what other things I could or should be doing.  Oh, new mommy lessons to be learned...

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Finally, Skin.

This could mean several things. Skin, in the literal sense (i.e. the flesh we're made of) or skin, that in which we reside spiritually, emotionally, etc..  I know, things are getting deep! haha.

I think being a new mommy has affected both of mine "skins." While I was pregnant my literal skin was oily and I had, had various break outs on my chin and T-zone. Not. Fun. No 16 year old or pregnant woman likes to look like a pizza face. :/

Now, my skin is like an old alligator. Dry, flaky, and rough. Especially my feet. Not sure if it's the time of year or the amount of time I've spent on my feet walking around with her, changing her, etc. Either way, it sucks. Hormones suck. Lotion now resides in my bathroom, bedside dresser, purse, and cosmetic bag. 

On the other hand, being a new mommy has affected my skin in spiritual and emotional ways too. It has made me come to truly appreciate all the mother figures I've had in my lifetime thus far. It has allowed me to put my faith into a higher power to protect and watch over my daughter. 

Being a new mom has toughened my skin a little. I try not to be so sensitive when others are trying to give advice they deem helpful. I'll take what they have to say for what its worth and use my own judgement later.

Being a new mom has taught me to take most things with a grain of salt. When my daughter is having a meltdown and I have to stop at two rest areas just to get her fed and changed but I had plans with someone and am already two hours late; I just have to roll with the punches. There are no time limits. We are now doing things on her time. Others have to learn to be flexible. 

I have to learn to be flexible. 

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All of these things. While gross and unnerving at times are all very fascinating. The strange leaky breasts, the random weight loss/gain, the dry but now "toughened" skin. They're all things that have changed me. They've made me a stronger person. In some ways, a healthier person. I am no longer selfish about certain things and have redirected my attention to what matters most. Family and friends. 

I've learned to shake the little stuff and roll with the punches.

So, I'll take this new body and embrace it. Who cares if my boobs ever look the same again. Who cares if I gain a few pounds back from the freakish amount I've lost. Who cares if lotion becomes a long term investment. 

All of these things and more are because of my daughter. The new love of my life. The peanut that will some day mutter the words, "Mom" and look to me for advice in her own endeavors. 

I'll take this new body. Why? Because its made me a better person. It's made me a mom.